I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
