I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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