I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
