You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
