Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
