He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
