Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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