is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
