I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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