I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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