My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
