I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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