U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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