Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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