Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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