Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
