Don't you send me to vm
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
