so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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