To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize