I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
