I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
