I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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