I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
