why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He? As in you personified your dick?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
