ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Randomize
