i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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