she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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