was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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