I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
how drunk are you?
Several
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
