I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize