New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
