how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
