why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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