Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
