I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
