Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
