me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
