I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
