I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize