PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize