you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
