C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
