so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize