So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
