You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
