she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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