I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
