drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
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