I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
