Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
