There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
