Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
