I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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