We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize