I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize