Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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