She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
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