I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
