Where is the hickey?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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