And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
