I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
