She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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