Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
