She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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