It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
