I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I have already put on my inside pants.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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