Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize